


Still Just As Special

by IsaacTheGreat69



Series: Fanders Pride Meetup [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Allusions to abuse, Anxiety, Confessions, Roman is poly, Virgil is aroace, aromantic Virgil, both Virgil and Roman are nonbinary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 17:57:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19090156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsaacTheGreat69/pseuds/IsaacTheGreat69
Summary: Because sometimes relationships, and confessions, don’t go how you planned, but that doesn’t mean anything has to change.





	Still Just As Special

**Author's Note:**

> Week 1: Relationships (romantic, platonic, queerplatonic, etc)

Virgil and Roman were practically inseparable. They’d been friends for only a couple months, yet they already acted as though they grew up together. They shared food when they went out, had what seemed like thousands of inside jokes, knew how to comfort each other like no one else, and told each other everything.

Well, almost everything.

* * *

 

“-And then Roman said they loved me and threw an arm over my shoulder. I swear to god, I felt like I was going to die right there. I still don’t get how they didn’t see my blush, it was hot enough to set a tree on fire.”

Patton laughs lightly, laying beside Virgil on his bed as they chatted about Roman, something the two did often. “I still don’t get why you don’t just like,  _tell_  them, Virge. It seems pretty obvious to me; they like you.”

Virgil sighs and sits up, putting their elbows on their knees as they cross their legs, hunching dejectedly. “I told you, Pat, I can’t. I can’t risk losing them. Besides, I doubt they like me like that. Besides besides, they have a boyfriend.”

“But isn’t Roman poly?”

A sigh. “Yes.”

Patton shrugs. “I’m not gonna force you, and I get how you feel, but I’m just sayin’ I think you’re being a little… Overly-pessimistic.” He shakes his head, sitting up as well. “I dunno how you do it, Virge. If it were me, I wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret. I woulda been like ‘Hey!!! I really like you!!!’ like, as soon as I figured it out.” He laughs and stretches.

Virgil scoffs lightly, picking at the frayed edge of their cutoff jeans. “I just… Don’t wanna lose them. Yeah, I wanna tell them. It’s like the words are on the tip of my tongue constantly, but if they didn’t feel the same… If they get weirded out, or disgusted, or it makes everything awkward…. I wouldn’t be able to handle it, Pat.”

Patton gives Virgil a sympathetic look. “I understand. This is something you need to carefully consider, and ask yourself; is it worth the risk?”

Virgil bites their lip, nodding. They had a lot to think about.

* * *

 

“-Which is why I’m no longer allowed to sing Rock The Casbah around Logan.” Roman finishes their story, a wide grin on their face. They look up from their dinner plate to see the slightly far-off, troubled look on Virgil’s face and frown. “Virge? Is something wrong?”

Virgil blinks back to reality when their name is called, looking across the table at Roman. “Oh, uh… I’m not really sure.” They shrug uncertainly. “I feel… kinda bad.”

Roman’s eyebrows furrow in concern and they set their fork down, leaning forward the slightest bit, but of course Virgil notices and their heart does something funny. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Virgil chews on their lip for a moment. “I… It’s complicated. Well, not complicated. I just… It’s hard for me to talk about super serious stuff, you know?”

Roman nods in understanding; this was one of the many, many things about Virgil that they did in fact know. “That’s okay. It’s normal, too. Especially with how you grew up; being told to shut up, being invalidated, not listened to. It takes a long time to grow out of that, and that’s okay.”

Virgil’s breath hitches slightly at the care, concern, and understanding in Roman’s tone. God, they really didn’t deserve someone so wonderful in their life. But it was those kinds of thoughts they were trying to get rid of, so they quickly shake it off. They look over Roman’s face, remind themselves Roman would never hate them or be disgusted with them, and that they had to get this out in the open.

“Well… I feel like I need to say it. Because not saying anything is pretty much the same thing as lying, and I hate lying. Especially to you. So. I…”  _Just say it_. “I… you’re my squish. I have a squish on you. I don’t know, you know what I mean. And before you say anything, I don’t expect you to reciprocate, or anything, I just wanted to get it off my chest and out in the open. I know you have a boyfriend and you love him, and I don’t want to pressure you or make you feel awkward, I don’t expect anything out of this. I just don’t want this to affect us, unless we want it to. I don’t want this to change anything.” Virgil finishes their rambling confession looking at their hands, picking nervously at their cuticles. The two of them sit in silence while Roman digests this.

“Virgil…” Virgil tenses. They know that tone. “Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you. You’re… You’re so important to me. And, look, I don’t know how any of this stuff works; I don’t know anything about QPRs, or squishes, I don’t know if I reciprocate, or even if I can. But I do know I love you, and that you’re important to me. Just as much as my boyfriend. I care about you, worry about you, and would do anything for you just like I would him. I just… Don’t know what that really means, in this context. But I promise, this changes nothing between us. I won’t stop caring about you or run away.”

Virgil doesn’t even realize they’re crying until Roman gasps softly, getting up from their chair to move over to Virgil’s side and hug them. “Oh god, Virgil, I’m so sorry. Please, please don’t cry.”

Virgil shakes their head, hugging Roman back around their waist. “It’s okay, Roman… I’m actually really relieved.”

“You are?”

“Yeah… I don’t know what I would’a done if you’d stopped being my friend.”

Roman squeezes them softly. “I could say the same. You really scared me there for a second.”

“Shit, I’m sorry.”

Roman laughs lightly, pulling back to look at Virgil. “Don’t be, it’s fine. We’re fine.”

Virgil smiles up at them. “Thanks. Love you.”

“Love you too, Virge.”


End file.
